how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
