I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
