If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
