i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
