You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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