he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
