she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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