We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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