I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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