I understand Curling. That high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
