he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
