This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
