somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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