she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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