if only i could text you this smell
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Couch. On fire.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize