You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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