I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
