Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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