Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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