I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
