my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
