I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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