Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
