strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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