butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
