first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
