I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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