Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
