Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
