Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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