He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So here I am, sexting at work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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