come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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