plz talk dirty to me
North Korea, Best Korea!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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