So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
