He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
