So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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