So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
