Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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