I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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