Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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