Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
