Sry I called you an 8
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
