We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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