dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
