You really coming over, don't trick.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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