I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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