Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
