How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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