Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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