Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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