Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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