How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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