this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
