Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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