And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
