so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
