Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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