HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
