Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
