Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
