At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think i have two assholes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
MIDGETS
????
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
