Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
