u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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