and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize