he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
