worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
