Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
